Comfort Zone
17/03/26
This entry is slightly different to others as I’m actually starting to write this ahead of time. No photos have been taken yet and there is a possibility that I won’t actually follow through with anything I write in these opening sentences. Although it’s my hope that putting it in writing will hold me more accountable and finally push me to do something that’s been on my to do list for a number of years now.
I’m referring to something that I’ve been on the verge of doing countless times but have never quite found the courage to take the leap. Creating portraits of strangers. There have been countless times where I’ve walked past someone and thought “they would make a great subject for a street portrait”, but something has always stopped me.
If I really think about it, the central emotion is fear. I’m not exactly sure what it is I’m fearful of but whenever I consider asking someone if I could take their photo my heart starts to race, my head fills with self doubt and I find myself backing out and letting the opportunity pass me by.
30/03/26
Fast forward to the present day and it comes as no surprise that I wasn’t quite able to follow through and achieve what I had set out to do. Although I did make some photos, none of them were portraits. In fact the majority of them didn’t even have people in the frame.
Looking back, I realise I had put too much focus and pressure on one person. In the back of my mind I knew there was someone I had wanted to photograph before, the owner of a small vintage clothing store. So as I walked around, spotting interesting subjects from time to time, including a sharply dressed elderly man with dark sunglasses that just had a certain vibe about him, I found myself backing down and saying to myself “it’s okay, I’ll leave this one as I have someone in mind already”. I was so close on a few occasions but having this mental safety net gave me a free pass to let the fear win, which eventually backfired when I discovered the person in question wasn’t there.
As I left to go home I felt deflated and frustrated with myself. However, upon further reflection this was still a worthwhile exercise. Although I didn’t actually create any portraits I was constantly searching for people I found interesting, assessing the natural light and taking mental snapshots.
I walked away from that day with a much better idea of the style and overall look I’d like to capture.
This process of reflection has also led me to the conclusion that I should attempt to take my first few street portraits on film. The process of shooting film forces me to slow down and consider the framing and exposure settings much more than I typically would. The pressure of someone wanting to see the final result immediately is also removed, as once the shutter button has been pressed the image is burnt onto the film with no way of viewing the results until it’s been developed and scanned.
So although this entry is slightly shorter and isn’t wrapped up with the happy ending I’d hoped for, I still wanted to share it. As cliché as it may sound, I’ve learnt much more from this failure than I would have learnt if everything had gone to plan.
Next time I’ll have scenes in mind, not subjects. I’ll have my 35mm film camera with me, alongside my trusty X-T4 just in case.
I will get that all important first street portrait in the bag.
But not just yet.
I’m Not.Quite.There yet.